Dear Master,

          I would like to take this opportunity to thank You, the elder gurus and sanga members for bestowing the blessing of the doctrinal song to all of us lay buddhists (with special reference to BB and I), on Tuesday night.  The privilege was taken with gratitude.  I'd also like to thank You for bestowing the blessing and gifts for BB and beautiful flowers to our house, kindly delivered by elder gurus a fortnight ago, please forgive my delayed gratification, for life has been hectic, equipped with a little sleep deprivation!

          I felt a sense of relief walking into the Centre last night and enjoyed the sharing of dharma and teachings, it's been too long between visits.  I awoke this morning with rebound energy to start the day, had more patience with our beautiful 3 yr old and new baby daughter....felt the advantages and benefit of a positive frame of mind.  Made plans to meditate this evening only to again self-sabotage the opportunity by giving priority to less important tasks, like worrying about being behind schedule as far as renovating the commercial kitchen and not having the money to pay the extortionate rent next week on this comercial/residential property, and feeling a little overwhelmed and powerless because my days seem to only fit in being a mother, doing the laundry, food shopping, cooking, bla, bla, while my life partner works the business solo, bla, bla.  All self created challenges which could be met with calm positive creativity, I also could be kind, patient, loving and compassionate to myself, but.....I am what I am not.  Meditate and then I can be in contact with my spiritual Self in order to create a positive mandala and be where I wish to be, living in my Heart...."Home is where the Heart is", this has been in my thoughts frequently as of late.  I wish to create a synergy of family and business life, a harmony that evokes artistic productive creativity without jeopardizing the children's important needs to be nutured, they'll be included but....oh what a challenge!  Will I seize this opportunity by living the dharma teachings, meditate and I could, meditate and be of service to all sentient beings.  Meditate!

          Last time I meditated at the Centre, {whilst being pregnant}, I began to feel physical sensations unlike before, my hands were in the lotus position and began to feel enormous, gigantic!  My body was humming with vibration, I began to feel a little disturbed so I focused with concentration on Your Image, I had to release my hands and place them on my lap, pinching my index finger and thumbs together which felt as if they were the only pinpoint holding me together, eventually I went with the sensations and after about 10 minutes it subsided and I resumed meditation as usual.  May I learn Your thoughts about this?  Or perhaps You may deem it necessary for me to understand when the causes and conditions are ripe.  You are in my thoughts daily and I'm comforted by the knowledge that You are always with me.